My Bill Paxton Summer

Vertical Limit -2000

2008-10-08T09:42:00.004-05:00

I admit, I didn't watch this movie all the way through. I was irritated the day I put it on and I just couldn't keep my focus. So I guess this is another review that's not a real review, but contains some photos and a synopsis.

A high-adrenaline tale of young climber Peter Garrett, who must launch a treacherous and extraordinary rescue effort up K2, the world's second highest peak. Confronting both his own limitations and the awesome power of nature's uncontrollable elements, Peter risks his life to save his sister, Annie, and her summit team in a race against time. The team is trapped in an icy grave at 26,000 feet - a death zone above the vertical limit of endurance where the human body cannot survive for long. Every second counts as Peter enlists the help of a crew of fellow climbers, including eccentric, reclusive mountain man Montgomery Wick, to ascend the chilling might of the world's most feared peak to save her. IMDB

I did enjoy seeing Bill Paxton with a beard. That was a nice change. I'm not into beards, but he looked pretty good with one. I've noticed, however, that all his characters are from Texas or the south somewhere so he doesn't have to change his accent during the film. Ha!

I think the reason this movie turned me off is because it was too obvious in too many places that they were in front of a green screen. There are great movies that use green screen technology, but they make it look 100% real. This film? Not so much. I also don't like Chris O'Donnell. He irritates me. Paxton was ok, but that's about it. Rent this if you like mediocre action films or older men with beards.

Brain Dead - 1990

2008-09-08T20:20:00.000-05:00

I watched Brain Dead this afternoon while lying in bed, home sick with some sort of Summer-turns-to-Autumn cold. I wasn't feeling well at work on Friday and it just carried into the weekend and into today. I'm feeling better now, but not 100%. I think the stress of moving last week also threw my body out of whack.

Anyway, this movie kind of left me feeling Brain Dead. It was ridiculous. I knew it would be bad, but I didn't know just how bad. It stars both Bills: Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton, who so many people get confused (why? Pullman is boring and not so handsome where as Paxton is funny and interesting and very easy on the eyes - at least in my opinion). Interestingly enough, they have both made almost 70 movies in their career. A fun fact about Bill Pullman is that he went to SUNY Oneonta, the same college my Mom graduated from and I attended for a year in the mid-'90s. Pretty rad.

So Brain Dead is a horribly awful film about Dr Martin (played by Pullman) who does research on the brains of deceased psychotics. Jim Reston (played by Paxton) is a smarmy business man who tries to get Dr Martin to perform surgery on live subjects for a corporation called Eunice. The surgery is to alter the patient's mental attitude in able to successfully unlock the corporate secrets secreted within the patient's brain. What secrets, you ask? I have no idea. Something about some numbers or something. I guess that part isn't that important to the plot.

The movie starts out fine, but once Dr Martin performs the surgery, he starts having his own freak-outs. He can't tell if he's hallucinating, dreaming, or having a true psychotic episode. In one scene, he is to meet his wife and Jim Reston at a bar and he keeps freaking out because he sees a man in a bloodied white suit all the time. His wife becomes disturbed by his behavior and they leave. But on his way home he stops at the wrong house (I think??) and sees Jim and his wife having sex on the kitchen table. Dr Martin kills them with an ice pick....or does he??

The movie just spirals out of control after that. Is Dr Martin dreaming? Is he really experiencing these hallucinations and paranoia? Are these episodes the result of him being hit by a car and having severe head trauma? Is he imagining all of this? Is he dead and all of this is just made up?

Unfortunately, I didn't care to figure it out. It's not that the film was super confusing, it was cheesy and annoying. But I have to say, Bud Cort played a pretty good Halsey, the psychotic patient that Dr Martin did surgery on to get the "corporate secrets" out of. I loved Bud Cort in Harold and Maude and he was pretty good in this film. We also see our hero Bill Paxton's bare ass again in this film, which is OK with me. Pullman was so-so, as he is with most of the films I've seen him in. Paxton plays a great smarmy dude. He does that character well.

I wouldn't rent this film unless you'd like to either laugh yourself silly at how cheesy it is or be bored to death. Don't get this one confused with Braindead, which is something entirely different.

Fun Fact: Martini Ranch contributed a song in the closing credits of this film. It, too, is super cheesy.

Resistance - 2003

2008-09-06T17:35:00.000-05:00

I apologize for my lack of posting, but The Hubs and I recenlty moved and I've been without cable or internet for the past 8 days. I know! The horror! But in that time I watched a few Bill Paxton movies, some good, some bad, and one that was just terrible.

The first movie I'll write about is Resistance starring our hero Bill Paxton and Julia Ormond. It takes place during occupied Belgium at the height of World War II. Bill Paxton plays Ted, a pilot whose plane gets shot down and all of his crew members die. He is found in the woods by a small boy who brings him to Claire Daussois, played by Julia Ormond. Claire nurses Ted back to health while her husband, Henri, becomes more and more involved with the resistance.

Ted and Claire begin to fall in love. We find out early on in the marriage that Claire is not happy with her Henri at all. Ted falls pretty hard for Claire since she nursed him back to health. This is where the movie goes from being a WWII film to a sappy love story.

Every now and then we are reminded that Belgium is under Nazi rule and that the resistance are holding secret allied codes from them. But it's mostly a love story between Claire and Ted.

I won't give the ending away, but it was pretty cheesy. I didn't love this movie but I didn't hate it either. It was just kind of boring and sappy. There are no leather pants on Bill Paxton in this film, but we do get to see his butt. I keep wondering if he's just very comfortable showing the world his bare ass, or if he is so proud of it that he works a bare butt scene into all of his films. That's one to ponder.

Haven - 2004

2008-08-23T21:03:00.007-05:00

Last night The Hubs and I watched Haven. I'd been kind of on the fence about renting this movie because it stars Orlando Bloom and, well, I can't stand him. But I have to say, it wasn't a bad film at all.

Our hero, Bill Paxton, plays a shady businessman named Carl. Carl and his daughter, Pippa, have to flee their Miami home when they are busted by the Feds. Carl has been dealing in dirty money with his "partner" Mr. Allen. When they get to the Cayman Islands, Carl tries to track down Mr Allen to make things right. Pippa, who has grown to hate her father, takes off with Fritz, a thuggish native who seems to be in trouble with all the gangsters on the island.

While this storyline is happening, we are introduced to Shy, played by Bloom. He's fallen in love with Andrea, the daughter of a powerful and wealthy businessman. Their love is forbidden as he is white and poor, and she is black and rich. We see Andrea lose her virginity to Shy, only for Andrea's father to catch them and declare that Andrea was raped - despite her telling him it was her choice. Andrea's brother, Hammer, decides to get revenge on Shy, and that's when all hell breaks loose.

The movie then takes an interesting turn. Just when we've forgotten all about Pippa and Carl, they come back into the picture full force. I am not going to spoil it because it really is pretty good and I would recommend it as a rental. There's fast editing, great cinematography, and the lighting in certain scenes is really quite clever. And it's one of those films that when it's over, you slowly recall the clues that were given during the entire film that suddenly click into place. I love that kind of film making. There weren't enough scenes with our hero, Bill Paxton, and he doesn't wear leather pants. But you do see him semi-shirtless, which is OK with me.

Rent Haven from Netflix. It's really quite entertaining.

Alien & Aliens - 1979, 1986

2008-08-17T10:24:00.004-05:00

I don't have much to say about these films as I wasn't into them. I know, I'm a horrible film junkie, right? I wanted to watch Alien because I thought it would make more sense instead of just watching Aliens. I fell asleep right when the alien sucks the face off that one guy and to be honest, I skimmed through Aliens online this morning because I sent it back to Netflix with Alien in order to get more interesting Paxton films.

In order to keep with the spirit of this blog, here's a hilarious clip of Pvt Hudson from Aliens:

One False Move - 1991

2008-07-28T20:28:00.000-05:00

We're back!

I watched One False Move last night before bed. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't awesome, either. Kind of a mediocre film that had me wondering if it was a Made-For-TV movie at one point*. It would be a great Made-For-TV movie if there was less swearing and violence and blood and use of the "N" word. Amazingly, according to the IMDB this was Gene Siskel's favorite film of 1992. But I digress.

One False Move stars our hero, Bill Paxton as a back-woods sheriff called Dale "Hurricane" Dixon. Why "Hurricane", you ask? No one knows, not even Dale. Officer Dixon has been on the scene, fightin' crime and breakin' up hillbilly fights in Star City, Arkansas for the past 6 years. When he gets word that some big time murder suspects are heading to his town, he gets as excited as a kid on Christmas.

The bad guys are Ray (played by Billy Bob Thornton), Pluto (played by Michael Beach (who?)), and Fantasia/Lila (played by Cynda Williams). The three of them kill a bunch of people, steal $15K and an assload of cocaine, and head for Houston. On the way, they ditch their car, kill some more people, and make seriously poor decisions for a bunch of people who expect to get away with a crime.

For some reason, Fantasia/Lila decides she needs to go to Star City to see her family. Well, Dale gets word of this and also word that two big time Los Angeles detectives are also on their way to his small town. He's so excited to be working with Important Cops that he neglects his family for a bit, but hey, it's all about catching the bad guys, right?

Once Dale gets word that Lila is in town, instead of alerting the L.A. cops, he stakes out the abandoned house she decides to stay in until Ray and Pluto arrive. This ends up being a key scene in the film, so I won't spoil it. But trust me, you see it coming a mile away. At least I did.

In the morning, Ray and Pluto show up, there's a shoot-out, some people live, some people die, and that's it. The end of the movie. Pretty anti-climactic, if you ask me. I was like "Wha??" when the end credits started rolling. Seriously.

I recommend One False Move only if you're a Bill Paxton fan. The film is pretty boring, has a lame ending, and you see the "twist" coming a mile away. I guess if you like to see Billy Bob Thornton sporting a mullet you should watch this, too. But other than that, I'd leave it off your Netflix list.

No leather pants in this one, but Bill Paxton is shirtless for a split second. That's almost as good.

*it was supposed to go direct to video, according to IMDB. I knew it!

Short Break

2008-07-20T21:58:00.003-05:00

My Bill Paxton Summer will be back in a jiff. I've been dealing with a stubborn (and painful) ear infection that just won't quit. Coupled with stress from work and the heat and humidity, I just don't have the energy to write.

But never fear, I'll be back soon!

Thunderbirds - 2004

2008-07-12T13:36:00.002-05:00

Thunderbirds was on the Disney channel this morning. I figured I'd watch it to knock it off my list.

Sorry, but I only got about 30 minutes into it before I had to turn it off.

Sure, our hero Bill Paxton was super cute in his Thunderbird uniform, but that's the only good thing I can say.

It was just too cheesy and annoying for me to watch. I had to turn it off. I guess this is the first movie that I have absolutely no comment on, since I couldn't get through it.

I guess if you have kids, your kids may like this. Or, if you were fans of the Thunderbirds TV show in the late 1960s you might like it, too. I don't have kids and I never watched the show.

So, yeah. That's about it for Thunderbirds.

Broken Lizard's Club Dread - 2004

2008-07-08T18:50:00.001-05:00

This was another bad movie. It was boring and hokey and not funny at all. I'm not really one for slasher films, either. Maybe that's why I didn't like Club Dread. I was hoping I'd like it, since it was written by the same dudes who did Super Troopers. But yeah, it pretty much sucked.

The parts the our hero, Bill Paxton were in made me giggle. But when he's not on screen, I can't be bothered.

Bill Paxton plays Coconut Pete, a long haired hippie type who owns Coconut Pete's Coconut Beach Resort located on a non-descript island on an unmentioned body of water. Of course, the only people who pay to vacation on Coconut Pete's Coconut Beach Resort are young, tan, and gorgeous. Not an ounce of fat on anyone at any time. Kinda sad, really. The people look all the same, too. And I don't remember there being any African Americans. Eh, I think about this crap too much, huh?

Anyway, people start getting killed on the island. All the staff members are freaked out. They all determine that each other cannot be trusted. When the decide they know who the killer is, they lock him in a closet. But then, of course, more people get killed so they know that the person they thought was the killer, really isn't...or is it?

Even though I didn't like this movie very much, I had two favorite parts. The first was the live-action Pac-Man maze, complete with people dressed up as fruit. The second was the ending, which was pretty damn funny. I won't mention it here, in case any of you are dying (har har!) to see this movie. Oh, and I really liked the parts that Bill Paxton sang silly songs.

Speaking of which, here are a few Coconut Pete tunes you can download from the Club Dread website. I'd download them fast, as I can't guarantee that they will be around forever:

Pleasure Island
Naughty Cal
Pina Coladaburg
CominBlowin

If you like ridiculously silly slasher parody movies, this is for you. It's fun to see Bill Paxton play a stoned hippie, but that's really all that's amusing about this film. I guess you'd like it if you were stoned, though...

The Dark Backward - 1991

2008-07-04T00:52:00.001-05:00

Ok, I really didn't think I was going to like this movie, but I did. It's so bizarre and weird that I found myself laughing through the whole thing. The Dark Backward is a pretty strange dark comedy. If you're into David Lynch's early stuff as well as awesome movies like Meet The Feebles, I think you'll like The Dark Backward.

The movie is about these two friends who work together picking up garbage in this bleak, disgusting, nameless city. Our hero, Bill Paxton, plays Gus, a guy who looks like he hasn't bathed in about 10 years. He's a pretty fun-loving guy, though, who is always laughing and encouraging his friend, Marty Malt (played by Judd Nelson) to pursue his stand up comedy routine. Gus plays the accordion as an accompaniment to Marty's comedy routine.

One day, Marty wakes up with a lump on his back. Gus tells him it looks kinda like a bug bite. But the lump keeps growing, until one day Marty wakes up with an arm growing out of his back. Most people are completely horrified, but Gus figures out a way to work it into Marty's comedy routine to make an extra buck. They end up meeting Jackie Chrome (played by Wayne Newton), who promises them fame and fortune in Hollywood.

Of course, things do not go as planned. I won't spoil the movie for you, but it had an ending I wasn't really expecting. That was good, because I hate it when I see it coming, you know? Kind of spoils the whole thing for me.

Bill Paxton was hilarious in this film. Judd Nelson did a great performance as well. I loved the set design and how you can't tell if the film takes place in the future or the past. Yes, there were some gross out moments, but nothing too major. Although I do like how all the gross scenes involved our hero, Bill Paxton. I read somewhere that he really was gagging during one scene and not pretending. Awesome.

If you're into totally bizarre, strange dark comedies, check out The Dark Backward. For me, the movie progressed quickly and I was not bored. I absolutely recommend this for the Bill Paxton fan out there. He's really great in it. I will have to watch it a second time to pick up on all the little details I missed the first time. For example, there's a carton of "Pork Juice" in the fridge. What the hell is that?

Check out the trailer here.

Impulse - 1984

2008-06-28T22:00:00.001-05:00

Ok, I'm not so sure if this movie was better or worse than Future Shock. Impulse is terrible! It's about this town that starts going crazy after an earthquake disrupts a tank full of toxic sludge that drips into their food supply. I read a book similar to this back in 1995. It was called The Gas. If you check out the Amazon link, you'll see that this book was 1) banned in many countries 2) not sold to minors and 3) came in it's own wrapping, because it was that vile. Impulse is kind of like that book, only less vile and with toxic sludge and not gas that's making everyone lose their inhibitions. Oh, and not half as interesting as The Gas.

So our hero, Bill Paxton, plays Eddie, a milk man with an attitude. Of all the reviews I've read, people seem to find him creepy in this movie. Um, was I missing something? He wasn't on screen long enough for me to form any sort of opinion on him. Athough, he is pretty surly looking.

I'm not sure if this was a Made For TV Movie or not. All the taboo subjects are implied. There's one scene where the main character Stuart (played by Tim Matheson) sees an under-age girl sitting on a bench, chewing gum. He walks over to her and stands in front of her. All we see is the girl take the gum out of her mouth and put it under the bench. I guess we are to assume that he has sex with the girl.

In the scene where Eddie is ultimately killed, we are led to believe that he is sexually attracted to his sister Jennifer (played by Meg Tilly). Stuart is in his room, looking for a jacket to wear. He starts snooping around and finds a pile of half naked pictures of Jennifer. Then Eddie comes into the room and says "I probably should have burned them". Next thing we know, Eddie looks like this:

I swear, Bill Paxton was in the movie for a total of five minutes. Even the biggest Bill Paxton fan should skip this one. It's boring and the plot moves along too slowly. I'm really surprised that it got 5 stars out of 10 on the IMDB. Amazed, really. I probably wouldn't watch it again, even if it were the only thing on TV.

There are no leather pants in this movie, but there's flannel and a trucker hat. Enjoy.

A Great Bill Paxton Resource

2008-06-25T06:35:00.003-05:00

I'm patiently waiting for Netflix to send me my next Bill Paxton movie. I'm not actually sure what it is, as I haven't looked at my queue lately. But that's ok. I like surprises.

In the mean time, I've been watching the TV listings to see which movies I can watch at home when I'm waiting on Netflix. I think this is a pretty good resource for those of you who have many or most of the channels listed. Sadly, I don't. We pay a hefty fee for cable, but it doesn't include any of the good stuff like HBO or Showtime.

I'll probably be able to catch Club Dred on IFC on July 3, as I have that day off. That seems like a movie to watch "on TV" than actually rent. Of course, I'm just speculating. It could be a totally awesome film.

U-571 - 2000

2008-06-22T12:39:00.002-05:00

U-571 is on Encore as I type this. I'm only half watching it. There's about 40 minutes left of the movie. I just can't get into it. I think the reasons I'm not into this movie are:

1. Jon Bon Jovi is in it.
2. It's a war movie
3. That takes place on a submarine
4. Matthew McCanaughey wears too much makeup
5. Bill Paxton's character dies after an hour into the film
6. It's too dark, and I don't mean depressing
7. The "epic" music gets on my nerves

Here's the basic plot of the film from the IMDB:

A German submarine is boarded by disguised American submariners trying to capture their Enigma cipher machine.

Yeah, that's about it. I don't know one thing about the Enigma, so that part of the plot just didn't capture my interest. I don't like submarines since they are too cramped and I imagine them smelling pretty bad. And I couldn't get past the fact that all the scenes look like they were shot on a sound stage (which I'm sure they were) and in a big tank filled with millions of gallons of water in Hollywood.

Ok, so I just watched about 30 minutes more of U-571 and, yeah, I just wasn't into it. I think the only thing I got out of this film is Nazis=bad. And that's something I already knew.

I guess U-571 would be a good movie to watch if you're into historically inaccurate submarine movies filmed in a sound stage water tank. Bill Paxton was good in the 10 minutes he was on screen, but that's it. I'm glad I watched this, just so I can knock it off the list. It's not one I'll probably ever watch again, though.

Although, Bill Paxton looks mighty fine in his sailor uniform.

A Simple Plan - 1998

2008-06-21T18:56:00.002-05:00

This movie is SO GOOD.

I forgot how much I love A Simple Plan. It's almost perfect. My biggest beef with it is that it takes place here in Minnesota, yet all the actors have Southern accents. That aside, I think this film is probably one of my top 10 favorites of all time.

A Simple Plan is, on first glance, a seemingly simple story about how two brothers, Hank (played by Bill Paxton) and Jacob (played by Billy Bob Thornton) and a friend find a plane crashed in the woods. Inside the plane is a duffel bag crammed with $4 million. The three men try and figure out what do do with the money without getting caught. The characters struggle with their own internal ethics on what is the "right" thing to do, and ultimately they decide to keep the money. That is, unless someone comes looking for it.

Trouble starts when Lou (played by Brent Briscoe) decides he wants his share of the loot right away. Hank tells him he cannot have it as it's stash "about an hour's drive" from their town. Lou doesn't want to accept this at all because he's an unemployed drunk that owes people a lot of money and he wants his money ASAP. From there it snowballs into all three men not trusting each other. The three of them have to constantly keep the story straight as to not bring themselves to the attention of the authorities.

Bridget Fonda plays Sarah, Hank's wife. She spends time crafting elaborate lies and other ways Hank can deceive Lou and Jacob. At first we don't think she really wants Hank to keep the money, since she believes it would be "stealing". But as the film progresses we notice that she wants the whole sum of cash for herself and Hank. I think she plays a major role in what drives Hank to do what he does.

One thing I really love about this film is that it was shot in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Because of that fact, many critics say it resembles Fargo too much. I couldn't disagree more. American Movie was shot in WI, but is it anything like Fargo or A Simple Plan? Hell, no! Just because A Simple Plan and Fargo take place against a snowy Midwestern backdrop doesn't mean that they are anything alike. But with that said, this is probably one of my favorite shots in the entire film:

A Simple Plan is really an excellent film, and probably one of the best Bill Paxton has made. It amazes me his performance as Hank Mitchell was ignored by the Academy Awards in 1999. Instead, Billy Bob Thornton was nominated for Best Supporting Actor (but lost to Michael Caine). Sure, he does a great job as Jacob, but seriously, Bill Paxton was shafted. Who won the Oscar for Best Actor in 1999? Kevin Spacey for American Beauty. Ok....that was another excellent film, so I guess I'll let it slide......this time.

I don't feel I can say any more about the plot without giving the whole story away. If you have not seen this film, I don't know what you're waiting for. It's got so many twists and turns that the viewer has to keep guessing what will happen next. It's really one of those thrillers that you can watch again and again and notice something you hadn't the first time around.

Go buy A Simple Plan. It's super cheap on Amazon for only $8.49! It's one every film lover should have in their collection. Not to mention a film every Bill Paxton lover should own as well.

**Fun Facts**
Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton were both in Tombstone
Bill Paxton and Sam Raimi were both in Indian Summer

Next Up: A Simple Plan

2008-06-19T21:42:00.003-05:00

This week has been very busy for me, so I was not able to sneak in any movies. But, never fear. Tomorrow is Friday, which means I've got at least 2 hours free before I go back to work on Monday! In those two hours I'll be watching (most likely) A Simple Plan.

In the mean time, enjoy this lovely (amazing, really) photo collection of our hero, Bill Paxton.

Tombstone - 1993

2008-06-16T21:00:00.003-05:00

source: the internets

Sunday afternoon I decided to watch Tombstone, as I lay in bed, trying to feel better. I watched this when it was released on video in either '93 or '94. I remember I was living back with my mom after getting kinda-sorta kicked out of Northeastern University. It's a long story that I'd rather not get into, since it doesn't involve Mr Bill Paxton or any of the films he's in. But anyway, the point is, I had already seen this before. And I didn't like it any more the second time around.

The main reason, above all else, is because I'm not a fan of the Western. They just really aren't my thing. I think this stems from the fact that, since I was young, I've decided to ignore the fact that the USA was once a barren, open expanse of land that was settled by people driving covered wagons. In my mind, US History doesn't start til 1920!* But please don't tell my Mom that, with her being a History teacher and all.

So, yeah. Back to Tombstone. It's a film about Wyatt Earp and his brothers who move to Tombstone, Arizona in order to retire and live a peaceful life, free of shootins and hangins and stealin' and crazy violence. Well, once they get there, they come face to face with a band of ruthless meanies called the Cowboys, who want to terrorize Tombstone and take everything for themselves. Ok, so this gang is called the Cowboys. But, um, weren't they all Cowboys back then? Maybe I should have paid more attention in school.

The Earps (Wyatt, played by Kurt Russell; Morgan, played by our hero Bill Paxton; and Virgil played by Sam Elliott) team up with Doc Holliday (played by Val Kilmer) are pressured to help get the Cowboys out of Tombstone. Lots of shootin' and stabbin' go on. Wyatt decides to make himself Marshall of Tombstone and he proposes a law that bans firearms in town. Well, this pisses people off, so the battle of the OK Corral goes down. Unfortunately, Morgan is killed and Virgil is wounded badly. After losing his Morgan, he decides to shoot and kill any man wearing a red sash (this is like the present day red bandannas of the Bloods, only a little more, um, gay).

Admittedly, this is where the film loses me. Our hero, Bill Paxton, is now dead, so why bother watching the rest of the film, right? I don't know what it was, but I just couldn't get through the remaining hour or so of this movie. But basically what happens is that Wyatt has another big gunfight with the Cowboys, killing Curly Bill (played by Powers Boothe) in a nearby river. Note: Powers Boothe and Bill Paxton both starred in Frailty together! Ringo becomes the leader of the Cowboys and tells Wyatt he'll kill him to avenge the deaths of his fellow gang members.

Doc Holliday beats Wyatt to the punch and ends up killing Ringo. Wyatt is happy to see his friend still alive, but barely hanging on to life as his tuberculosis has gotten the best of him. Doc goes to a hospital where he later dies and Wyatt decides to leave his opium fiend wife for the travelling actress named Josephine (played by Dana Delaney).

So, yeah. Happy ending! But I totally lost concentration after the big OK Corral scene. With Morgan dead, I really didn't care much about the remaining characters. I guess that's where the film falls short for me. Plus, I am not a fan of movies that wrap up everything neatly with a bow, and that's what this film does. Hell, the last few minutes are narrated and we hear how awesome Wyatt's life is now with Josephine. Blah.

If you like Westerns, watch Tombstone. If you like early American history, watch Tombstone. If you aren't into either, but love Bill Paxton like I do, watch Tombstone. If you're dead inside, skip it.

Hey look! Bill Paxton and Terry O'Quinn are in a scene together! I love the character "Locke" from Lost, so this was a pleasant surprise. Oh, and there's a fat Billy Bob Thornton in this film, too!

Sadly, Bill doesn't don any leather pants in this film. But I'm happy to say that his mustache is more manly than the one he had as Simon in True Lies.

*I'm not 100% serious.

Featured in the Star-Telegram!

2008-06-16T06:25:00.004-05:00

My Bill Paxton Summer is featured in today's Fab Five section of the Dallas-Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

'My Bill Paxton Summer' blog

The joke around here is that we refer to Paxton as "Fort Worth's own Bill Paxton" so often that "Fort Worth's own" is now officially part of his name. So it's nice to know that a Minneapolis-based blogger has created a site devoted to spending a summer watching the busy actor's works -- not just his movies, but his Barnes & Barnes and Martini Ranch music videos as well. With a season-three date for Big Love yet to be announced, fill the Paxton void at http://mybillpaxtonsummer.blogspot.com.

-- Robert Philpot

Woo-hoo!

My Bill Paxton Summer Gets Great Reviews!

2008-06-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

Pop Cultural District gives this blog a shout out on Monday, June 9. No one actually comments on it, but hey, it's nice to be featured on someone else's blog, right?

MNSpeak.com featured this blog in their Local Blogging section on Monday, June 9 as well!

Awesome!

Bill Paxton on NPR

2008-06-14T10:05:00.000-05:00

This is an older interview, but it's still pretty good. It's about 20 minutes long, but worth the listen.

I'm not feeling so great today, so the next review (Tombstone) won't come til I'm feeling better.

Enjoy.

Bill Paxton on NPR talking about Frailty and more.

True Lies - 1994

2008-06-13T21:32:00.003-05:00

I didn't get any movies in the mail today, but I didn't fret. True Lies was playing on TNT! Sure, they cut some stuff out, but all the important parts with Simon (played by Bill Paxton) were still intact. Awesome.

I saw this when it came out in '94. I hated Arnold Schwarzenegger in '94 and I hate him now. But this film still holds up. It's not awesome, but it's not terrible, either. There are lots and lots of totally cheesy parts, but there are also some pretty funny bits, too. I think it's amazing how this film is all about catching the Terrorists and I swear Arnold is using some of the same lines from this movie in the present day. Amazing.

In a nutshell, the plot goes a little something like this: Arnold and Jamie Lee Curtis are married. He's a "computer salesman" by day, Federal agent by night. She's a mousy secretary type who is seeking some adventure in her life. Jamie Lee meets Simon, played by our hero Bill Paxton, who tricks her into believing he's also a secret agent, when in reality he's just a slimy car salesman. Arnold gets jealous and busts in on the two of them. He makes Simon pee his pants and makes Jamie Lee sign up to be an undercover agent. As Jamie Lee is taking off her clothes in a hotel room while Arnold watches, the Terrorists bust in and capture both of them. For the remaining 30 minutes or so, we watch to see how Arnold and Jaime Lee are going to escape and make sure the Terrorists do not detonate the nuclear bomb they plan to use to destroy the USA!

Since this is a blog dedicated to my Bill Paxton summer, I have to point out how awesomely funny he is in True Lies. He is so slimy and creepy! He preys on lonely women because he can't get laid any other way! He's a used car salesman!

"Let's face it. The 'Vette... gets 'em wet!"

And he's got a fabulous mustache that kind of hypnotized me for a while. It's not quite a full, manly 'stache, but it's still enough to make me cringe...yet I can't look away.

"If not for me, Helen, do it for your country! "

Plus, he's got some of the best lines in the entire film!

" Men want this car for only one reason: pussy."

"I have to lie to women to get laid. And I don't score much. I got a really small dick, it's pathetic."

If you haven't seen True Lies, you're in luck. It plays again tomorrow on TNT at 7pm CST. They really don't cut much out, except some choice words. It's one of those mindless movies that draw you in and make you laugh. And to think, 14 years later, we're still fighting the Terrorists!

Google Is Great!

2008-06-13T18:34:00.001-05:00

I'm proud to announce that someone found this blog by Googling: "vampire""his leather pants".

Can it get any more awesome than that? You know the searcher was looking for Bill Paxton. For sure.

A Present For Me! Big Love Seasons 1 & 2

2008-06-12T19:43:00.003-05:00

Purchase them at Amazon.com for only $85.99 with free shipping!

I've seen all the episodes already, but I started watching Season 1 again. I almost forgot how amazing and awesome this show really is. I love all the characters and the struggles they all go through. The only thing that bothers me is that it takes place in Sandy, UT and it never gets cold/never snows. What's up with that? I mean, seriously. The city is 4,000+ feet above sea level!

It's really tough having to wait til January '09 for Season 3, but I guess I'll have to. In the mean time, I have two seasons to watch over and over and over....

Frailty - 2001

2008-06-10T22:30:00.003-05:00

I was pretty surprised how good this movie was. I don't like Matthew McConaughey, so I was a little worried that Frailty would suck. But it didn't. Awesome.

It was nice to see Bill Paxton play a "bad" guy. Basically he's the father to two sons that live in rural Texas in the 1970s. One night, "Dad" awakes from a sound sleep, only to be spoken to by an angel. He immediately tells his sons that he was spoken to by God through an angel and was told that his mission in life is to "destroy" all the demons that roam the earth. The younger son, Adam, believes every word "Dad" says. Fenton, on the other hand, knows right away that his father is mentally disturbed. He tries to tell his brother this, but Adam will not listen. He believes that his father is out to help God by killing all the world's demons. Fenton sees his father as an evil murderer but Adam sees him as a hero fulfilling God's wishes.

The story progresses with "Dad" having more and more visions from God. He's given a list of "demons" that need to be destroyed. He seeks these people out, kidnaps them, and ultimately kills them in front of his children. I think that's the most disturbing element of this film; the fact that the children are made to participate.

While all of this is going on, Matthew McConaughey (Fenton as an adult) is narrating the tale of what he witnessed as a child to FBI Agent Wesley Doyle (played by Powers Boothe). He explains how he wanted to run away from his father on many occasions, but he didn't want to leave without Adam. He also talks about how he tried to tell the sheriff of his town that his father was murdering people and burying them in the rose garden, but the sheriff did not believe him. This is paralleled in the beginning of the film when the grown Fenton tries to tell the FBI Agent that he knows his brother is the "God's Hand" serial killer that Agent Doyle has been searching for. Fenton and Agent Doyle drive to the rose garden so Fenton can prove that his brother is the one who killed 6 people. Until that point, Agent Doyle feels that Fenton is making the whole story up.

"Get in the cellar, boy!"

I don't really want to get into any more of the film since it is pretty suspenseful and there are plot twists that I don't want to reveal. Although, I have to admit that I could see the ending coming a mile away. Knowing what was going to happen didn't actually spoil it for me, though, which is good. There is also a lot of Good vs Evil as well as Angels vs Demons throughout. I could go deeper into the religious aspects/themes of Frailty, but I'll save that for another day.

I thought the acting by everyone in this film was pretty damn good. It was nice to see Bill Paxton play a character that is NOT a loud-mouthed asshole, as seen in the other films I've reviewed here so far. He was quite convincing and downright terrifying at times. Not to mention that he directed this film, too, and did a pretty good job. The two boys who played his sons did a fabulous job, too. I can't really comment on McConaughey since he's not really in it all that much. I guess he did a good job for the time he was on screen. Can you tell I'm not really a fan?

I recommend Frailty for those of you who 1) love Bill Paxton and 2)like thriller/suspense films. The plot is great and the story movies along quickly. As a matter of fact, it was the fastest hour-and-a-half I've ever spent watching a movie. Put this high on your Netflix list (or set your TiVo to record it at 3am tomorrow on the SciFi network). You'll thank me.

By the way, there were no leather pants anywhere in this film. Just thought I'd point that out.

Bill Paxton Music Videos

2008-06-09T20:20:00.004-05:00

The mail carrier didn't leave any movies in my mailbox today, so I can't report on a feature film starring Bill Paxton. Hopefully Frailty will come tomorrow, but who knows? But what I can write about are all the awesome music videos he's had a role in, directed, and performed (yes!) in.

Sit back and enjoy these wonderful music videos starring our hero, Bill Paxton.

First up is the video for the Barnes & Barnes song "Love Tap". I love this video. I don't love the song so much, but I like to watch Bill Paxton get kicked around, and then, get his revenge in the end. Plus, how can you not love the red suit?

And here's another Barnes & Barnes video that Pax directed called "Fish Heads" in 1980. Totally bizarre, but awesome just the same. And are those leather pants I see, or just tight, tight skinny jeans?

And another Barnes & Barnes video for the song "Soak It Up". This one is kind of odd. No leather pants, but he does wear tight blue jeans, which is OK with me.

Can you spot Bill Paxton in this Pat Benatar video for "Shadows of the Night?" Don't blink! He's there and gone in a flash. In general, this video creeps me out a bit. Who thought of the Nazi theme? What's it got to do with the lyrics of the song? But Bill is in it, so I will let slide.

Here is my favorite video of the lot. It's for the song "How Can The Labouring Man Find Time For Self-Culture?" by Bill Paxton's own rock band Martini Ranch. This is packed with such New Wave Awesomeness I can't hardly stand it. I giggle like crazy and cringe a little bit whenever I watch this, but it's so awesome I can't leave it off my list. Full size to soak up all the late 80s goodness. Enjoy:

And for our dose of Bill in Leather Pants, I give you "Reach", also by Martini Ranch. Directed by James Cameron.

If I missed any videos, please let me know. These are what I could find on the YouTube. They are all awesome in their own right, but mostly because they star Bill Paxton.

Indian Summer - 1993

2008-06-08T20:03:00.002-05:00

It's evident that 1993 was the Year of Bill Paxton. It was also the year I graduated high school. In '93, Bill made the following films:

* Future Shock
* Indian Summer
* Boxing Helena (a film I made clear that I will not see again)
* Monolith
* Tombstone

I watched Indian Summer last night. I'm pretty amazed that it got 6.2 stars out of 10 on IMDB. The fact is, this film is boring. BOR-ING. I was trying to imagine that it was 1993 and my 17 year old self is watching it for the first time. You know, before I turned all cynical and jaded. Well, I couldn't do it. I'm quite sure that my preppy, up-beat 17 year old self would have fallen asleep to this film as well. The mid '90s answer to The Big Chill*? PLEASE! That's a major insult if I ever heard one.

Indian Summer, in a nutshell, is a nostalgia movie. It revolves around a bunch of friends who re-unite at Camp Tamakwa where they all spent their summer vacations 20 years prior. This movie falls flat because we don't know anything about the characters, save for Jack (played by Paxton) and Beth (played by Diane Lane). Of course Jack is the "bad boy" who was kicked out of camp in 1973. No one knows why he was kicked out, either. Also, no one expects him to show up for their reunion, but there he is. I was hoping there'd be some conflict or something between Jack and the others, but there's none. The only conflict in the entire film is when one couple allude to their marital problems. SO LAME!

Jack and Beth watch a Moose in the Canadian wilderness. BORING!

I'm sure if I bought this movie for my mom she would love it. Totally sappy and cheesy. It's really dated as well. And for a nostalgia film, there really aren't that many flash-backs or any insight into these people as pre-teens. WTF? I have no idea what Elizabeth Perkins' character is all about (other than she's supposed to be bitchy, I guess) or Matt Craven's character (other than he's a misogynist). What were these people like as kids? Should we care? Do we care? Obviously, my answer is "no".

Oh yeah, check out Sam Raimi playing a doofus named "Stick". He offers some comedy relief, but not enough to make me care much about what's happening on screen. And he doesn't further the plot along any, either. If he was a crazed killer who beat people with a stick (hence his nickname), THAT would be all sorts of awesome. But that never happened.

I'm glad I watched Indian Summer because now I can check it off the list. Bill Paxton was OK in it, and he had all the good one-liners that made me laugh. But for those keeping score, there were no leather pants. Sorta-mullet? Yes! Leathers? No. Oh well. Maybe he'll be wearing some in Tombstone.

*Yes, someone actually posted that on IMDB!

Miami Vice Season 3 - "Streetwise" - 1986

2008-06-07T14:15:00.001-05:00

Did I mention how much I love the Watch It Now Feature on Netflix? Well, I do. It allowed me to watch the episode titled "Streetwise" from the Season 3 set of Miami Vice. I was able to skip all other episodes and go right to the one featuring Bill Paxton.

In this episode, Bill Paxton plays Vic Romano, a cop tangled up in drugs and prostitutes on the mean streets of 1980s Miami, Florida. Vic has fallen in love with a dumb, spandex-wearing blonde prostitute called Carla. Vic and Carla are busted in at dirty motel (awesomely called the Ramrod Hotel) one night, and some cocaine is found in Carla's purse. Vic tries to take the blame for the coke, but Crockett doesn't believe it for a second. The rest of the episode details Crockett and Tubbs trying to track down the dealer/pimp called "Silk" played by Wesley Snipes. In the end, the bad guys AND Vic are killed in a shoot out. Sounds about right for Miami Vice.

This episode really reminded me how cheesy Miami Vice is. Granted, I was in 6th grade, living in Upstate NY in 1986, but something tells me that there weren't as many hookers roaming the streets in broad daylight in Miami as this episode suggests, but I can't prove it. And the prostitutes are wearing either silver, neon, or black leather outfits, with more accessories than your local Claire's Boutique. Of course, you see the stereotypical black pimp beating up white women, while yelling "Where's my money, bitch?!". Yeah, totally 80s television, I swear.

Anyway, Bill Paxton is OK in this episode. Not awesome, but not terrible. He doesn't play a very convincing cop, but then again, my attention wasn't totally focused on the dialog or acting. I was waiting to see if he would put on a pair of leather pants. Sadly, he didn't.

If you have a subscription to Netflix and can tolerate using Internet Explorer for 42 minutes, click here to watch this episode. Warning, the first four minutes are so cheesy you might die a little.

Next up: Indian Summer. I'm still waiting for Netflix to ship me Frailty.

Future Shock - 1993

2008-06-06T12:25:00.001-05:00

What's shocking about this movie is that it gets 4 stars out of 10 on IMDB!

Today after work I watched the 1993 movie Future Shock. It was under the Watch Instantly category on Netflix. Holy crap. It's terrible. Near Dark is a masterpiece compared to this garbage.

The tagline on IMDB reads "Beyond virtual reality open your mind to a new dimension in terror!" Really? Terror? I was laughing through this entire movie. I think this was written before the concept of Virtual Reality existed as we know it. It must have, because there was no virtual reality in it whatsoever.

Basically three patients go in to see their shrink. They talk about their "horrific" problems. The shrink turns on a switch to some Magic 8 Ball looking thing and that's when we see the patient's terrible issues. I guess the Magic 8 Ball thing is the "virtual reality" or something. It really just looks like a bad prop from Spencer Gifts. And the Virtual Reality is just the patients venting on a couch.

The movie is really three completely boring stories put together. The first story put me to sleep, the second story, starring our hero Bill Paxton, was entertaining, and I couldn't even get through the first 10 minutes of the third. So I'll write about the second story, which is hysterical (but not meant to be).

Bill Paxton plays Vince, the room mate that "terrorizes" the nerdy dude who works in a morgue by day and by night spends all his earnings at Costco (I am totally serious). So Vince answers the nerdy dude's ad for a room mate and Chaos Ensues. What does Vince do that is so horrific? He leaves dirty dishes in the sink! He has a girl over and then have loud sex late at night! He doesn't pay the rent on time! So the nerd has enough and plans to kill Vince, only Vince beats him to it. And then the cycle starts again with Vince answering an ad placed by another nerdy dude who he knows won't talk back. Hilarious!

If you want a good laugh with your friends, watch Future Shock. Maybe someone can make it into a drinking game or something? That would be a good time for sure. Check out the trailer if you don't believe me:

visit videodetective.com for more info

So, in conclusion, the only good part of this movie, of course, is Mr Bill Paxton in his leather pants. That's two for two! He wore his leathers in Near Dark and now again in Future Shock. I know he wears his leather pants in Boxing Helena, too.

How many films does Bill wear leather pants? Oh, I'll find out. Don't you worry.

Near Dark - 1987

2008-06-05T12:24:00.001-05:00

I've decided to rent every movie that Bill Paxton is in, starting with Near Dark. I watched it on Monday while The Hubs was at work. The movie is about this guy who falls for a girl who is really a vampire. He gets infected with her vampire cooties and the rest of the film is about how he has to kill someone to stay alive (by drinking their blood, naturally). Don't forget how the vampires can't be in direct sunlight or they will burn to a crisp, as that's an important element to this film. I guess even bright halogen lights will burn their tender vampire skin, as evident in one crucial scene toward the end of the movie.

It's a pretty bad film, to be honest. The plot is ridiculous, the dialog is horrendous, the lighting is really bad, and the acting is sub-par. Well, except for Bill Paxton. He steals the film. He's awesome as the character Severen, who spends most of the 94 minutes covered in blood and shouting out awesome lines such as "I hate it when they ain't been shaved!" when biting into a burly truck driver's bearded neck. He looks pretty good in his tight black leather pants, too. HA!

Near Dark is a pretty cheesy film, but it's good for both a laugh and a quick trip back in time to the mid 1980s, when movies like this cranked out quickly and were never in short supply. I laughed out loud thought most of it, even though I know I wasn't supposed to. But I couldn't help myself...it's that cheesy.

Next on the Netflix list? Frailty.

Oh, I should mention that the only movie I refuse to watch starring Bill Paxton is Boxing Helena. I was subjected to that in college and I do not want to re-live that again. Even though Bill Paxton does look pretty hot in his leather pants.... ;)

Welcome!

2008-06-05T01:00:00.000-05:00

I decided to make this summer a Bill Paxton summer. I love Bill Paxton. I think he's probably the sexiest actor out there. Seriously. Wrinkles and all.

I started loving Bill Paxton after watching Big Love, so I decided I should spend the summer watching all his films (with a few acceptions). Netflix has a pretty good list of his work, so I figure I'll plow through those and write a little something about each of them.

This blog isn't supposed to be taken seriously. It is not a mega-fan site or anything like that. I just thought it would be fun to watch Bill Paxton films all summer. Please comment and participate in the polls. I encourage debate, so if you think I'm wrong on something, tell me!

Most of all, enjoy this blog.